Day 3: Someone I miss ?

Hey you guys! Hope everyone is having a great day today! If not, I’m here if you’d like to talk about it .. I know how it feels when you don’t really have anyone to talk too, or you don’t want to feel like a burden. I’m only an email or comment away!

Her name is Rasheda Alestock 👼🏽, and I’ve been missing her everyday for the last 7 years😢! She was my best friend , my confidant , my family. It’s crazy because once upon a time we knew nothing about each other, until my uncle tells us that he has another daughter no one knew about 👀👀 say whaattt !? Another daughter!? What in the hello operator Uncle of mine , where’d she come from ?! Cause I only have one cousin that’s your daughter ! Lol 😂.

We were 14 years old when we finally met, and we clicked almost immediately. It started off with phone calls , emails , and letters through the mail because we were in to different locations. Lol . I was in MD, and she deep in the Blue Ridge Mountains of VA 🏔 .

We talked about everything, and she was my little ray of sunshine when everything else was dark 💛💛. Now don’t get me wrong , we’ve had our fair share of disagreements of course, but there was nothing that would keep us away from each other that long. She was my rode dog. Rasheda was so smart, and intelligent. She could light up any room she walked into 👌🏽.

This one particular incident between the two of us actually took us longer, a year to be exact, to get back to a good place. I missed her so much, and there were so many lost words that should have been said! We didn’t even discuss what caused us to stop talking though we started like we never left. She had so much good news, bad news, sad news, and all kinds of news to tell me , as well as myself . We were planning a trip to visit each other within the coming months because yet again I had moved away from the VA area!

The last thing I told Rasheda before I had the slightest clue that I would never speak to her again was that I would call her back! (I get so distracted and busy that I tend not to call anybody back on time 😢) … I never called back …

Next thing you know I’m receiving phone calls from friends in VA asking me if I’m okay , and is Rasheda okay … And I’m just clueless tryna figure out what the hell are they talking about ….

Well, within an hour of that first phone call I got the worst news of my life from “Tink” (little cousin/sister), after calling my uncle phone back to back.

Rasheda is gone 🤯😱🤬🥺😫😢😭😭! What do you mean gone?!!?!

Someone, a coward, took her life at 22 years old, and there was nothing I could have done about it. I packed my clothes so fast and was on the next train smoking literally… to my family !

My heart hurt so bad! I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t eat ! I had nightmares of the cowards face that took her from us , it was so bad for months ! This was one death that broke me to my core! We had just rekindled our distance , and I never called her back ! I called her phone for months just to hear her voice on the voicemail. I went to her favorite spot up on the mountains for her birthday a few times to talk to her, send her balloons to the heavens, and just breathe. Eventually I stopped because as time passed it seemed to get harder rather than easier to accept her being gone !

They say time heals all when really it just allows us to cope with whatever it is we’ve been through. Rasheda was my best friend, my confidant, my inspiration. I looked up to her from many different aspects! She was someone special and I wished everyday it was me and not her. She had so much more to live for, and the people whom encountered Rasheda would say the same thing. She was taken from us way to soon!

I’ve accepted the fact that I can’t get her back, and when the time comes I will see her again!

Rasheda Lavette Alestock (4/5/90-9/16/12)

A small message to you:

Im sorry I wasn’t there for you ! I love you so much , and I miss you everyday still! I can feel your presence from time to time but it’ll never be the same! I’ve changed so much since your death, and sometimes I’m ashamed of myself for falling into that darkness as much as I did! Please continue to watch over me, protecting me, and saving me from myself! To my guardian angel 👼🏽 until we meet again 💙😢💋

Sincerely Bonita 🌻